Back in the mid 1940’s, when I was thirteen years old, a very quiet and kindhearted bachelor came to our house to have daddy cut his hair. It was past time for his haircut because he had been away for few days visiting a distant relative. Elmer and his sister Mae Umbarger rarely got over 50 miles from the home they shared. Neither had ever married. Elmer sat down on the barber chair and was noticeably excited when he told daddy he had two pieces of chocolate mints for Lila and me. He reached in his pocket and removed the two beautifully gold foil wrapped candies and handed them to daddy. I noticed that daddy looked at them closely as if to be examining them, then, laid them aside. I wondered why and was disappointed that he did not give one to me.

Daddy asked Elmer where he got them. He said he found them in the hotel where he had spent the night. Motels often compliment their customers by having a maid place a mint on the motel pillows each night. Daddy leaned over and whispered something into Elmer’s ear that I could not hear. This shy man’s facial expression immediately changed from excitement to sheer exasperation. He kept apologizing to daddy about what he had done after picking up the two chocolate mints and putting them back in his pocket. I was disappointed as well as puzzled, but never uttered a word while he was there.

After Elmer left, Daddy was reluctant at first to explain why our neighbor took his chocolate mints back. Daddy could see we were not going to stop asking why, until he gave us a good reason. Mama and daddy were always open minded with our discussions. I know daddy knew that we knew more than most kids did at our ages and finally relented, telling us they were a form of birth control. Now, it was time for me to be embarrassed. My only reply was “oh!” I overheard daddy tell mama he had never seen them packaged so elegantly.

I have always followed the rule that “if a child is old enough to ask a question, that they are old enough to hear the answer.”… with discretion that is.